Gaze at this ridiculous bed / sofa / chair / media center combo that’s essentially an island


A Rich Guy dream that I nurture – you know, the ridiculous things you imagine buying if you had endless wealth – is a bedroom. Not one bedroom, Warning. A bed (pause) room.

What you imagine is correct: I would fill an entire room with a bed. A place where you open a door and immediately collapse on a wall-to-wall-to-wall mattress. How to change the sheets? Where would you even make that bed? How would you get it in the room in the first place? Not my problems to solve, I’m a rich guy.

OK, so now that you know about my bedroom dream, I feel like this next sentence will take some extra weight. On Wednesday I saw this viral tweet about a bed-sofa-chair-entertainment center monstrosity and even I have to admit this thing is fucking ridiculous.

Check it out. There’s a bed. A sofa. A lounge chair. Chairs. A rising office. Tables and shelves. A fucking speaker system.

What the hell, man? What are we doing here?

I understand we all spend more time lounging around these days, but this thing is just … a little … dumb?

After snooping around online for a bit, it looks like the bed in question is the Hariana Tech Smart Ultimate bed. The basic cost – the minimum! – is $ 2,799 for a queen bed. If you want a king, it will cost you $ 2,999. If you add bells and whistles – the site offers a nightstand, USB port, speaker, LED light, cup holder, lift function – the price could go up to $ 4,243. That’s a lot of clams, my friend.

And do you know what else can hold a charger, LED light, mug, books, hell, even a speaker? A normal nightstand. Just a simple Jane side table that doesn’t fit into your bed for some reason.

When you really dive into it, the ~ smart bed ~ really doesn’t offer anything so crazy. Of course, there is a massage chair attached to it, the head is adjustable to sit upright, and there are modular seats and shelves. Pretty neat, but literally all the things you could just … have without paying a ridiculous price to stitch them to your bed.

And something else: doesn’t even look very comfortable? Beyond being a weird and somewhat new piece of furniture, it’s just a mess of things, none of which look terribly fun. Imagine asking your friend to relax on a small, straight chair while you are lying in your bed? Weird stuff.

Just buy separate furniture. And who needs a speaker strapped to their bed? I can’t get over this. What is it for ?

In any event. There is the smart bed. If that tickles your rich person dreams, go ahead and order one. What is that they say fools and their money? But I claim it is not a room. Not even close.

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